Tuesday, September 26, 2006

God Bless You, Grandma Donaghy

Early this morning, a beautiful soul left this world...

Ellen Donaghy was born and raised in Scotland, and traveled to America over 60 years ago. She never went to college, and after she was married, never worked outside the home. And she never lost that Scottish brogue we loved so much to imitate. She gave birth to ten children, and they were her life. I'm so proud to say that I'm a part of that legacy, now in its third generation.

In Scotland, they called her "Nellie." She worked in a men's clothing store after school. She survived the German blitz of World War II, and she saw many of her friends and loved ones die in those bombings. She prayed every day, a rosary never far from her hands, and the name of Mary was always on her lips. Nellie met Frank and they were married, and their new life took them across the sea to America, leaving behind all they ever knew.

When I was a teenager, one Sunday out of four was spent at Grandma Donaghy's. We'd sit in the house in Cranbury, watching old Jimmie Stewart movies, or John Wayne down in Grandpa's den (it was always the Duke down there). Tea was always on in the little white kitchen; white porcelain cups on saucers, and never-ending Entenmann's raspberry danish. The family laughing, quoting movies, telling stories, or just singing the old songs from the Clancy Brothers and Tommy Makem.

I remember the muddy stream out back where we'd fish and look for snappers, the ivy wall, the iron jungle gym. Fireflies, cookouts, climbing the big sycamore before it was cut down. Sundays after Mass on the green lawn, talking of God and the stories of the saints... and Grandma would sit and knit her Irish sweaters. You would often hear that tiny whisper of the Holy Names, "Jesus... Mary" as her fingers worked the needles. She was a woman who loved God.

The love of my grandparents is now taken up into the Love of All Loves. I'm sure Grandpa was waiting, in that old grey sweater, standing by the kitchen sink in the sunlight. And Sheila, her baby, who left us so suddenly, she was smiling as the first light of Heaven fell on Nellie's face, as Grandma entered eternity. I believe this; I can almost feel it. The knitting projects are over, the needles will lie motionless for the first time in decades. But what remains is her legacy of love. Perhaps the greatest work of Grandma's is this tapestry of souls that is even now woven into the very fabric of the world; in the lives of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The spun gold of the union of Francis and Ellen, it stretches out into new patterns, new designs they never could have imagined.

William, Francis, Margaret, Catherine, Mary, Hughie, Ellen, Eileen, Patricia, and Sheila... and the next two generations, and the lives they've created; Anthony, Billy, Frankie, Mickey, Albert, Hughie, Patricia, Sean Joseph, Catherine, Eric, Sean Michael, Joseph, Michael, Jimmie, Teresa, Eileen, Daniel, Thomas, Mary, Veronica, Benjamin, Brian, Bridget, Matthew, Ellen, Michael, Rebecca, Bernadette, John, Kyle, Joey, Kevin, Sheila, Margaret, Ryan, Eric, Gavin, Timothy, Christine, Gary, Liam, Brendan, Colleen, Joey, Ella, Elena, Kayla, Gary, Walter, Tyler, Riley, Kaiyla, Caden, Shannon, Eric, Brianna, Jenna, Jessica... and there's more on the way!

All because two people fell in love....

Take away the marriage of these two Irish immigrants, my Grandma and my Grandpa, and none of us would exist. We simply would not be. This is the power of the two coming together, effecting and directing a cosmic stream of human persons. What a power God has given us, to bring life into the world! And Grandma did just that..... life to the fullest.

Before she slipped into an unconscious state, Grandma tossed and turned and tried to get out of the hospital bed. This didn't suprise us, she was still mowing the lawn in her 70's. We had the chance to sit beside her and pray a Hail Mary. I could feel the tension in her body, the labored breathing. But with that prayer, she seemed to relax. Surrounded by her sons and daughters, and grandchildren, I know she could sense their love and prayers. According to my father, the last audible words she whispered... "Mother of God."

For your YES to God, for your love, and your witness. For your stories of Scotland and Wee Willy Sticks, for the spot of tea and those amazing sweaters, for teaching us how to pray, how to think of God, and walk with Him in every moment.... the Donaghy Clan is forever blessed. We love you, and pray God is holding you in His Warm Embrace...

I love you,
Young Will

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Billy. I mentally took a beautiful trip through the last 3 decades of my life. IT WAS AWESOME!!
Love, Anthony

The Heart of Things said...

She was an amazing woman and she's linked us all to such a past. She's our Braveheart! Scotland forever! Rebecca and I actually went to a pub last night and I had a Guinness for Grandma.... I think she was smiling.

Peace bro,
Billy

Anonymous said...

Billy,
Thank you, reading that really helped me. Instead of thinking of how sad it is that she is gone, I thought of how wonderful it was that she was alive. Grandpa once told me that he hoped he would live to see Great Grandchildren and I can't help but think of the great fun the two of them will have sharing us all with eachother.
My Shannon said in prayer before bed..."God, please let Mommy's Grandma have lots of fun in her new life in heaven." She came up with that all on her own. It brought me great comfort, and I just wanted to share. From the mouths of babes, ya know? I wish I could write like you Billy. LUCKY!
XO,
Trish

Anonymous said...

Bill,
I just read your article on Catholic Exchange and was directed to your site. I was going to tell you that I envy you right now with the Fall season since I grew up in PA (a little place called Lock Haven). Then I read the beautiful story of your Gran. I would have loved to have met her. You were truly blessed. I will remember her and all the family in my prayers tonight.
Thank You!
pax eT bonum

The Heart of Things said...

Tricia,

Thanks for the post and especially for sharing Shannon's little inspiring prayer! That was awesome! It was so good to see everyone, I know Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Sheila could experience our gathering too. And we'll see them again! Love ya, Billy

The Heart of Things said...

Thank you Liz, for the prayers and thoughts. That is MUCH appreciated; we're going to miss her! Peace and Good to you, and happy Feast Day on Oct 4!
Bill

Anonymous said...

October 1, 2006

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

Paul & Donna Hummel (East Windsor, NJ )

September 30, 2006

Mary-
My heart goes out to you with the passing of your mother. I know her
memory will live on in the hearts and deeds of all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Let's be in touch soon. Love, Toni

Toni Micai (New Egypt, NJ )
tmicai@comcast.net


September 29, 2006
We are very saddened by Mrs Donaghy's death. We fondly remember her as a reserved neighbor, always cheerful and working hard in her yard, as a devoted mother and grand-mother, as an example for our then young and growing family. We keep her and you, her family, in our thoughts and our prayers.With our sincere sympathy and condolences.
The Cossart family ("front door" neighbors on Millstone Drive)
Evelyne, Benoit, Jean-Baptiste, Antoine, Anne-Lise, Rémi, Etienne Cossart (Cranbury, NJ )

The Heart of Things said...

October 1, 2006
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
Paul & Donna Hummel (East Windsor, NJ )

September 30, 2006
Mary-
My heart goes out to you with the passing of your mother. I know her
memory will live on in the hearts and deeds of all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Let's be in touch soon. Love, Toni
Toni Micai (New Egypt, NJ )
tmicai@comcast.net

September 29, 2006
We are very saddened by Mrs Donaghy's death. We fondly remember her as a reserved neighbor, always cheerful and working hard in her yard, as a devoted mother and grand-mother, as an example for our then young and growing family. We keep her and you, her family, in our thoughts and our prayers.With our sincere sympathy and condolences.

The Cossart family ("front door" neighbors on Millstone Drive)
Evelyne, Benoit, Jean-Baptiste, Antoine, Anne-Lise, Rémi, Etienne Cossart (Cranbury, NJ )

Anonymous said...

Billy,

Hey, cousin! I don't know if you'll get this, but either way I want to thank you again for writing such a beautiful eulogy for such a beautiful woman. I was Googling like mad (here at my new residence, The College of New Jersey) for Grandma's obituary because in just four days it will be the first anniversary of her death and I couldn't get her off my mind tonight. I didn't find the obituary; instead I came across your piece and I am so grateful that I did. I read it over and over and cried just like I had when I first read it almost a year ago, but the tears were balanced out by the smile on my face.

As I'm sure you know, sometimes life seems like a solitary struggle, particularly now that I'm away at school and separated from "the family," but your writing helped me remember that I am not in fact alone. We're all links in the chain of a most amazing, loving, and deeply, inherently TOGETHER family. Thank you so much for that. I hope everything is well with you and Rebecca, and please don't hesitate to drop me a line. My email is baum3@tcnj.edu =]

Ridiculous amounts of love,
"wee Becky" (as Grandma would have said)

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